Is it ok to lower our standards?

It’s been a month since I arrived fresh off the boat (or plane) into the New York city life. I won’t bore you with my ‘how amazing New York is’ rant but it has its ups and downs. One particular down right now is the lack of any worthy male creatures on the college campus. And I’m serious about it. THERE IS NO ONE. Everyone’s either gay, an asshole or taken. So far that’s the only three options us girls are faced with. So in a context of a shitty world lacking of male pickings, is it ok to lower your standards? When we’re out of options, should we degrade ourselves and lose our sense of judgement just so we can get some action once in a while?

I won’t lie to you, I’m speaking from experience. After three weeks of boredom facing the male population I’ve met, a late night ring of the doorbell presented itself as an opportunity. I was half drunk, half asleep when a ‘ding dong’ buzzed on our dorm door. It was *Jack, a ruffled blonde guy from next door. He wasn’t my type at all. He was unattractive and attractive at the same time. My suitemates and I had called him ‘cute’ several times and not in the good way, as in a baby cute way. He has these puppy dog eyes and looks looks lost every time you see him. So there he was, at the door at 3am on a Saturday night. I thought nothing of it at first; he explained he was locked out, drenched from the rain and out of power on his phone. Being the saint that I am of course, I sat him down, got a charger and let him wait. I was planning on heading back to bed when he said, ‘Wait, hang out with me for a while.’ Again, this only appeared to me as a friendly invitation, I couldn’t sleep myself after all. So I sat and asked how his night was. It suddenly dawned on me that we were both still tipsy, but again this didn’t create any issues in my mind. It was only when I felt his hand on my leg that I realised I was in deep shit.

Here was a perfectly OK guy. He was alright looking, he was sweet in a shy way… What was the problem? So then I had two options: 1) Tell him to fuck off and kick him out the room. Or 2) Take the opportunity and get jiggy with it. Being the slutty idiot I am when I’m drunk I opted for option 2. Everything progressed quickly and there began some desperate fumbling in the bathroom whilst my suitemates slept. It was when he really began kissing me that I slowly began to rethink my options. What was I doing? I wasn’t even into this guy all that much BUT I was lacking action in that arena. Was it ok to use a guy? In a time when you’re bored and desperate for some sort of hookup session, was it really ok to lower your standards? Yes and no. Yes I got some action out of that night, but I was starting to get bored. With no mutual attraction everything just became tiring. It was then that I noticed his scatter of bad acne and his dry skin, as well as his gross breath. What was WRONG WITH ME?! All I could think of as he was kissing my neck was how much I wanted to exfoliate his face with my pink grapefruit scrub, moisturize his face and brush his teeth. The regret of not choosing option 1 finally hit me. I was better than this and I shouldn’t have to lower my standards for cheap shots of guy action. Long story short I kicked him out and he went on to ring the doorbell continuously for the next hour waking the whole dorm up.

A pretty crappy story of a regretful late night rendevouz, but here’s the lesson you should take away. If we don’t set a standard, we’re merely depreciating our ourselves. Don’t opt for a cheap option, you can do so much better. That’s what I’m hoping anyway. Wish me luck.

Lots of love xxx


The First Step.

So I guess I should start by saying hello. So, hello.  I guess I’m starting this blog not in some hope of gaining some crazy fan following or projecting myself as the new Carrie Bradshaw, but for myself. I want to write – no let me rephrase that, I need to write. The truth is I’m lazy. And my brain is so scattered with thoughts that I think it’s best I put it in words. A kind of therapy for myself I guess. Even if in its whole existence not one other pair of eyes reads this, that’s fine by me. I’ll call myself Lili for now and I’ve just started my life at NYU. It’s loud, exciting and quite frankly, terrifying. I miss my home which is Malaysia and I miss my other home which is the UK. This place is so foreign to me yet I feel like I’ve been here for years. Everything is so new, but I feel myself already falling into the humdrum of New York life. I live with a five other girls in our dorm here in Manhattan and so much drama has already happened. So follow me, whoever you are, for the misadventures of one girl in one city.